(originally posted 5/23/2013)
How do you say good bye to a beloved pet? My family recently had to do that to our 13 1/2 year old Golden Retriever, Clyde. We got Clyde when my boys (now 18 and 20) were just 5 and 7 years old. He has been a cherished member of our family ever since. We also have a second dog, Comet, who at 6 years old has never lived without Clyde around. Losing Clyde was truly like losing a family member.
We got Clyde 13 years ago through an ad in the Want-Advertiser. As my kids were starting to get a little older, I thought about getting a dog, but we had lost 2 dogs right around the time the kids were born, and that was pretty devastating. I told myself I would not get another dog until I was prepared to lose another dog. Five years later found me browsing the want-ads for dogs, so I suppose I thought I was ready. And magically, there was the ad — a 4 – month old Golden Retriever puppy in need of a loving home. With some trepidation, I picked up the phone and called, and after a brief conversation in which I must have mentioned I had kids, the woman told me that the dog was already spoken for. Somewhat disappointed, and also somewhat relieved, I hung up the phone, only to receive a call back from her about an hour later saying she was re-considering. Apparently, she had promised him to a single guy and she really wanted the dog (already named Clyde) to be with a family. After an extended conversation this time, she agreed to sell him to us.
Three days later we traveled to Rhode Island where we met Clyde to see if he would fit into our family. For me it was love at first sight, though I think the rest of my family took a little longer to warm up to him. But as Golden Retrievers do, he wriggled his way into our hearts and souls, and clearly planned to stay there forever.
When he was about 2 years old, I read an article in the newspaper about dog agility and thought it would be fun to try, so I found a local trainer. Dog agility is an amazing sport. In order to succeed the handler and dog need to be in complete partnership. There is no “me owner-you dog and you must obey me” in that sport. The dog has to be a willing and eager participant, and the handler simply tells the dog where to go. Through that training and later in competition, I developed a unique relationship with Clyde, and truly learned how to communicate with him at a very profound level. Clyde competed in agility trials for many years and earned a lot of ribbons. I will always be grateful to him for introducing me to the sport and allowing me to play with him for so many years.
Through my work as a Yoga teacher I have been exposed to many facets of yogic philosophy. One thing Yoga teaches is that the biggest fear we have is the fear of death. As I watched Clyde at the end, though, I could see how peaceful he was and how he just wanted to be free of the constraints and pains of his body. There was no fear for him. It was much worse for those of us left behind with a gaping hole that will never quite fill in all the way. Even though I knew Clyde was not going to be around forever, and even though I thought I was “prepared” to lose him, I still miss his wagging tail that never stopped. Wherever you go, Clyde, I hope your tail wags forever…
